Have you ever been around a child out of control. To different people this means different things. I was around a child recently whose mother is very permissive. She allows him to do pretty much what he wants, be as loud as he wants, run crazy if he wants, bounce balls etc. He is often given idle threats(lies) with no real consequence. It made me think of times over the years when I have not followed through with what I said or have not been consistent with consequences and praise. I had been taught early on that the heart of the child Really matters.
I know that many parents feel it is so hard to discipline a child. I, for one, do Not enjoy it either. I am weak in this area and have had to deal with my feelings at times. I think at times I wanted to let my kids get away with stuff because I wanted to. My sister wrote a blog on the will and it really hit home to me. Our heavenly Father loves us unconditionally but because of that love he also will not let us choose sin without discipline/consequence. Yet it is still our choice.
When I have followed through on a consequence I have actually had people (who must have thought I was wrong) say, "children will be children" . What exactly does that mean? That just because they will choose to act selfishly without concern of others we should just let them? And who is the originator of that saying? If not God? What does God say? "Train up a child in the way he should go." Children need godly parents who show them what God expects and that with wrong choices come consequences and with right choices come life, all this with love regardless of the choice. WOW! I know for me I sometimes want to withdraw my vulnerability a bit when I am hurt by a wrong choice however, I am challenged to be strong and stick to the consequences but also continue the unconditional love.
I am so humbled in thinking about this. How many times has my heavenly Father had to allow me to feel consequences even when it grieved him, yet He longed for my heart to be made holy and loved me enough to let me experience that consequence. He also is the quickest to affirm and give life to those good decisions all the while loving me unconditionally throughout every wrong or right choice. I'm sure there have been many times that he has had to deal with an outburst from me as His child and has had to politely deal. I'm sure there have been times I have made him weep while waiting for me to humble myself and return to His love. I long to have my eyes opened daily to what He is showing me and to have His constant guidance and loving arms to show me the right choices and wrong choices. To be trained by this wonderful God in the way I should go.
4 comments:
Good post- you and your sister's posts on this subject were very good. Their hearts is really what matters, and their behavior is just an indication of what is going on in their hearts. This is humbling as your kids get older and you can see patterns that you didn't weed out when they were younger. As they say, "It's always harder to re-train then to train in the first place." I have never been more on my knees about my children. I just want them to love God with all of their hearts, souls, minds and strength.
Now I get to do it all over again with baby Jane. :)
Ironically, there have been times my children have been like that and in the embarassment of the moment I've realized what I needed to work on (either discipline or my consistency). Then I've also experienced onlooking some child out of control. It's sad because it's the child that suffers. No one wants to be around them.
I should have said "their hearts ARE" My grammar really isn't THAT bad... *blush*
heartsjoy, i am really inspired and humbled by your thoughts and especially your last thought - "to be trained by this wonderful God in the way I should go". i am humbled by your honesty in admitting you still have much to learn from God while calling and teaching others to follow Him at the same time. this is really where we ALL are, whether parents or not. and, while I admit that I can be discouraged by the lengthiness of the process of becoming like Christ - the setbacks, the really dark times, the outright rebellious times, all of them - I am grateful that I long and desire to become like Him at all! thanks for being a light in my life, girl! i'm soooooo very glad we can be in touch even though apart. :-)
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