So, afterwards I said goodbye to all except my kids and we headed to the airport to pick up my parents from mission trip to Brazil. My husband was going to head to the resteraunt to save us seats. I got there all excited. No plane...delays...hmmm, what to do. I quickly feed the troops some junk food that they split (being the airport food is a rip-off!) . After I realize that we are going to be here a while I decide to take them outside. There is some hills of grass that they want to play on. As I sit in the car (in front of them) I watch as they run and play. I had let them take off shoes and socks so they were barefoot and looking like a movie moment. I watched as my daughter danced and twirled and ran. Brother chased after her. He then used a hand that pointed at sister, she acted like she was choking.....she brought out shield and sword and fought back he acted like he was choking.....ahhhhh, star wars moments.
We eventually headed back inside to explore and play. As we heard the plane had finally landed (almost 1 1/2 hour late), we headed over to the escalater to watch for Meme and Poppa. I caught eyes with a man and his wife. They said "Ohhh Hi!! How are you doing? What are you doing here?" Trying to think how I knew them, "Hiii, doing good, here to pick up my parents." Bit of confused look from them. Found out they were from our church we had been at here. We chatted as I shortly brought them up to date. THEN, the man says to me out of the blue, "So, now this means you'll be able to get out there and get a real job to...help make a living"
My thoughts...."WHAT? did he just say to me?!!!" From the bottom of my feet to my head feel the blood boiling, heart begins to pound really hard and almost anger sets in. I smile and say "I do have a job (point to kids), Two little jobs right over there that keep me pretty busy!" The wife possibly picking up that I might slug her hubby or wanting to slug him herself steps in and sweetly says "Sure you do, that is a big job."
I got to thinking:
1. It is not good to blab your judgment on others. (especially when you don't even really know them!)
2. What other job is More important that investing in the lives and future of my own kids?!! Nope, nothing else in my noggin!
3. Do I forgive him? Of course I do, I make many mistakes and word mishaps myself.
4. I will close with a couple of verses.
Deu 6:7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
| I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. |
17 comments:
Oh, man. I had to re-read that a couple of times for it to sink in that he really, actually said that!! My blood started to boil, too.
I've had others say similar things to me. Burns me up.
I don't know if I would have handled it as graciously to be honest. I probably wouldn't have slugged him, but oh man!
I can't believe people actually say things like that. It just astounds me.
I've had my share of careless comments from silly, ignorant people. And that's just how you have to look at them--silly and ignorant.
If I ever went fulltime into the "paid workforce," I would never be able to rest knowing that I was handing over my top-level-priority to someone else.
Jewels--they're precious jewels, our children are. What a privilege to watch over their souls everyday.
WHAT A JERK!!!
You handled that with total grace and dignity...just like a lady.
I would have felt like saying...well...it's really none of your business now is it? and walked away.
But...I would've regretted not having been more dignified. Ultimately you showed true Christlike character. How dare somebody make commentary on your choices as a parent and mother.
UGH......feelin' your pain....
I'm not a mom and that would have even made me mad. Todays lesson: Think before you speak!
I am too am glad that I wasn't present at the time, so that I wouldn't have to go apologize later! You seem to always manage to think quickly on your feet, and I am glad for that (we'll except during our "discussions"! Thank you for the "jobs" you do with our children, with me, and with our household. I love you!
Be careful, ladies, someone might read this and get the impression that you think it's a scriptural mandate for women to be at home raising children. I have a wife with a passionate calling to teach in the public schools as well as be an amazing mother. Some of your comments might disparage her passion and calling. I'm not offended and neither is my wife as she reads this, but I feel the need to at least wave the caution flag.
And yeah, although we all do it, what a stupid thing for him to say. Arrogant, really, thinking his opinion of a womans place was the only right option.
Much love to you all.
Your children are incredibly blessed to have a mom who feels so passionately about investing in their training. I hope that clueless man has the opportunity someday when your little ones are all grown up to see how your "full time job" paid off ... in MUCH more abundance than a fleeting paycheck.
Poet - It is certainly an individual choice. I have many friends, your wife included, who work outside the home and I have the utmost respect for them. I would certainly, never, in any way, say you have to stay home to be a good mom.
Thanks for pointing that out :-)
Hey Barefoopoet!!! :)
I teach in the public school too...therefore working full-time outside the home and have always done so...have two precious children. I also feel the same passion to watch over their souls, etc. as talked about here. I don't believe there is any negative judgement passed on here about some having that role (or I don't sense that) I think it was merely that somebody felt the license to "line out" another person over their choice. I think it would be shameful for anyone to feel that a working Mom somehow was putting her children second or shoving them off on somebody else to raise. That would just be a disgusting shame. I think there are many working Moms who would love to stay home full-time and do all those full-time things with their kids...I've dreamed about that for years. It just isn't in His will for me yet. I believe He may feel I'm completely capable of doing it all...everything my kids need spiritually and in the home and being a light in a dark public school world...sometimes I wish the Lord didn't think that I was so capable (grin)..but I'd rather follow the Lord than get my own wish and shirk His will for me. There are times I begin to feel alienated and 2nd class on these blogging boards because I don't get to do all that cool stay at home stuff with my kids...but I don't think these gals have that in mind..they're just expressing how happy they are to have the opportunity to get to stay home full time. Hope that helps some...
Ruth
In reference to "barefoot poet"...
Be careful that you do not position yourself as a moderator of another's blog comments unless requested to do so...
Someone one once taught me the definition of unrequested advice - is criticism. This is what the blog was referring to, and also your comment could be construed as such on this blog forum where the home IS central, scriptural, and celebrated.
The calling your family has is yours, the calling our family has is ours, based on God's Word for both of us I trust. The comments you pointedly referenced, I believe, demonstrate the passion of these mothers for their particular calling, even if you wife's calling is vocationally different than theirs.
Hopefully you can celebrate that rather than "moderate" that passion!
When people say things like that to me--I smile...with the knowledge that they are speaking their ignorance. It is only because they don't have the ability to clearly see that what a Mom does at home...has eternal value that they are stuck in their judgement. Of course, your husband didn't mean to offend; it simply was an oversight. A lack of focus....a lack of seeing clearly what is most important in your lives...even if just for a fleeting moment! You are partners together in this journey--what he does is very important. What you do is a luxury that I only wish was available to the masses! He has provided well--and you have provided eternal worth to the lives of your children and future generations!
So, we smile, and we forgive their inabilities...because we are grateful when they forgive our momentary lapses!
You go girl!
Diane
Diane - Sweet words, BUT I think you misunderstood. It wasn't Heartsjoy's husband that said that, it was another man in the airport.
Heartsjoy - I can't believe the man said that to you. Live your own life, Mister! But, I will admit, that just like him I've said many things I wished I hadn't. As far as the job you do (raising your two little ones), I think you do it superbly! Clapping.
valiant dad- as a husband and father I completely appreciate your position to defend, no problem there.
I'm truly happy for these ladies that follow the calling they feel. We should all be able to celebrate these things. Almost all of these ladies are personal friends and I suspect my comments were not received as criticism. I realize that you don't really know me and would not know the spirit in which they were offered, tone is virtually impossible to perceive when reading typed responses. I was simply responding honestly to what I felt as I read, and I'm comfortable receiving feedback on those comments. I've always seen posts and the comments that follow as a discussion, so I'll admit I don't understand the part you mentioned about positioning myself where I was not requested, or invited.
I'll stop there believing we have misunderstood each other a small bit and would look forward to you commenting and participating in any discussion on my blog.
I'm so sorry you had an ugly experience. He didn't know who he was messing with! Obviously, those of us who know you KNOW that you could in fact go out and get a "real job" and make more than enough money to support your family! Does he know how intelligent you are? Does he know you have 2 master's degrees?
I am so blessed right now to be able to stay home. Even when hubby no longer had a church to pastor, I stayed home. Some thought I should have put the kids in daycare and worked full time, but there was no way. That time with them would have been gone forever.
Yes, you are their mother and teacher, but right now you are providing stability for them during a time of transition. It may be that this is the most important time to be home with them. Moving can be tough - I ought to know!!! :-)
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