Awaken

"Awaken my conscience!" That's what I said
As I prayed in Dec. and fell face down on my bed.
With tears streaming down and a hope in my chest.
Wanting to find Your true rest
Tired of the way I had been till that day
Tired of the time I had wasted away
Striving and trying and wondering if there was more
All of a sudden You opened that door
As if scales on my eyes fell to the floor
I was hungry and drinking from Your Holy fountain
You showed me my heart and it was hard to see
You showed my sin and wickedness to flee
Before, I had dismissed them with lies fed to me
Thinking it was just stress or inconveniences that be
Now owning that flesh and learning to die
Wanting to shrink or just let it lie
Realizing the only way to find Your truth
Is completely die to me and let Your Life come through
A struggle, a wrestle as flesh tries to hold on
Not wanting to let go of all I have known
But then in my heart you Let me see
I must surrender if I will ever be free
Not trading glory for my glory instead letting You lead
Listening intently to all that it means
"Listen to Me" you beckon each day
"I am the one and only God that should lead"
I realize how many idols I've put into place
As I have to let go and let you re-place
Feeling rejected, misunderstood and lonely
At first I do face
A type of self pity another need to replace
But it opens the door to emptiness and grace
Then in comes Your Life that is more than I can fathom
In comes Your peace, direction and heaven
You are the Life I am here to pursue
You are the one who knows just what to do
You give the knowledge, you have it all
You are direction and Life it's not small
I have no answers the world offers a fall
Why have I been walking in my own strength so tall
Thinking I had knowledge enough to make me strong
Yet for You I truly long
Why do I strive when I have You?
Just You is enough
You are the Truth.
Oh Lord how I praise you and feel Your strong presence
You let me adore You and find pieces of heaven
You give me joy beyond measure as I learn and I grow
Realizing for the first time how low I must go
Thank you for never giving up on me
Thank you for a plan and what the process would be
As I learn to Listen to Your voice, to heed what you say
Let me never again feel Your dismay
To bask in Your love I am filled to overflowing
This is the Love that I was ignoring
Thank you for showing Your grace to me
Thank you for revealing the cross and giving me fellowship with Thee.