Creative Outlets

Just got back from visiting my sister and I had SO much fun!! THanks sis!
She is a writer but also is very talented in art. She has been doing some journaling and
talked me in to joining her. We drew, oil pasteled, and painted such fun!!
It was a nice to visit and have that fun creative outlet and I must admit
I think I have a new addiction. ;)

Awaken

"Awaken my conscience!" That's what I said
As I prayed in Dec. and fell face down on my bed.
With tears streaming down and a hope in my chest.
Wanting to find Your true rest
Tired of the way I had been till that day
Tired of the time I had wasted away
Striving and trying and wondering if there was more
All of a sudden You opened that door
As if scales on my eyes fell to the floor
I was hungry and drinking from Your Holy fountain
You showed me my heart and it was hard to see
You showed my sin and wickedness to flee
Before, I had dismissed them with lies fed to me
Thinking it was just stress or inconveniences that be
Now owning that flesh and learning to die
Wanting to shrink or just let it lie
Realizing the only way to find Your truth
Is completely die to me and let Your Life come through
A struggle, a wrestle as flesh tries to hold on
Not wanting to let go of all I have known
But then in my heart you Let me see
I must surrender if I will ever be free
Not trading glory for my glory instead letting You lead
Listening intently to all that it means
"Listen to Me" you beckon each day
"I am the one and only God that should lead"
I realize how many idols I've put into place
As I have to let go and let you re-place
Feeling rejected, misunderstood and lonely
At first I do face
A type of self pity another need to replace
But it opens the door to emptiness and grace
Then in comes Your Life that is more than I can fathom
In comes Your peace, direction and heaven
You are the Life I am here to pursue
You are the one who knows just what to do
You give the knowledge, you have it all
You are direction and Life it's not small
I have no answers the world offers a fall
Why have I been walking in my own strength so tall
Thinking I had knowledge enough to make me strong
Yet for You I truly long
Why do I strive when I have You?
Just You is enough
You are the Truth.
Oh Lord how I praise you and feel Your strong presence
You let me adore You and find pieces of heaven
You give me joy beyond measure as I learn and I grow
Realizing for the first time how low I must go
Thank you for never giving up on me
Thank you for a plan and what the process would be
As I learn to Listen to Your voice, to heed what you say
Let me never again feel Your dismay
To bask in Your love I am filled to overflowing
This is the Love that I was ignoring
Thank you for showing Your grace to me
Thank you for revealing the cross and giving me fellowship with Thee.

Time to post in a new year

It has literally been a over a year since I posted so I thought I would start the year off right. Happy New Year 2010!!!

Home school Mom getting homeschooled

I am in a season of re-education. God is showing me how He wants me at His feet listening and learning and not finding my security in the world's system for education. It is not an easy road but yet it is one that has been in the back of my head for several years.
I have been re-reading some books by Marilyn Howshall and this time I was really ready to hear. The biggest thing I gleaned through her writings as well as my time with the Lord is that I must learn to listen and follow Him whether anyone else agrees or not. He does not ask me to do what I shouldn't or what would be detrimental for my kids. In fact, He actually knows what is Best.
It sounds so silly but it is so profound if I can embrace it. I asked Him to show me my schedule for the year and He refused. I asked and begged for it but He shared with me that it would become my god. That I would be frustrated and stressed if I didn't reach that schedule and I would feel failure. I would miss the point of listening and trusting Him daily and in turn teaching my kids to do the same.
Wow. This is such a trusting process. Now He has allowed me to get some ideas for routines but being sure that I understand the routine may change anytime He deems it and some interuptions will be His leading.
Dying to self is not easy, but necessary and in the end....freedom.

Rebellion/Re-education

Well, this past week I had some interactions with family and I can't believe how quickly I can be like a 2 year old. I do NOT, as a full fledged adult, want to be TOLD what to do! I would rather resist than lovingly embrace a bossy instruction.

I am wrestling with letting go of my rights but also not letting others get away with their selfishness. However, if I was not being selfish myself, their selfishness probably wouldn't bother me so much! L

The Lord has been dealing with me on my little tudes and how they also affect my family and get planted in them as well. My kids are watching and learning and ick, this is not the way I want them to be.

I have been re-reading some of my articles from Marilyn Howshall. Can I just say that I am truly hit to the heart.

I realize that I act in the flesh way to much including my parenting.

She does such a good job of sweetly saying things that just hit hard...in a good way.

I hate that I react in my flesh with my kids and I don't like knowing that it is producing the same in them when I do that.

However, I am excited and encouraged to enter into a phase of God squeezing and working in my life to flush out that big fleshy side. He is so gracious to be patient and continue to teach me!

Eyes open for the pictures!

Have you ever had a friend that can't keep her eyes open for a picture to save her life?

I do. :)

Here I am with said friend...R.

We'll just call her squinty for short.

Her hubby has the same problem.

God bless em.

Notice the one where she is trying hard to keep them open in the scary eye picture. LOL, she is so much fun and always has me laughing. If you have friends with the shut eye problem give us some ideas for a fix.

Happy 4th! Injury

We enjoyed a great week with my sister and her kiddos only I didn't get ANY pics to show of it! That is awful. However, we had fun reading at library, eating out bagels at Panera, swimming, creating at home...journals, talking, playing etc! We so loved having them but it went to fast.

Last night we had a wonderful time with our Marshall family and friends! Marme & Papaw, Susan & Kendyal and kids, Friends K,R & H, and us. :)

Funny story we'll remember: Okay so last night we eat burgers, hot dogs and such (many desserts) and begin to head to fireworks display.

Well.....it was a whole hour late and we had arrived 30mins. early. There was a storm brewing so it was lightning before and during the fireworks.

The kids were playing and goofing and we had some sparklers. One of the head of the sparklers fell off and landed on my toe. I felt a shart burning sensation, screamed and jumped and sure enough there was literally fire on the ground! My toe and flip flop were scorched a bit. However, Marme had some ice so I was able to put it on quickly. Injury from sparkler....who'd a thought? L

It is fine though.

THEN, we were chanting for fireworks and just about to give up with off they went. We all cheered so loud! They were GORGEOUS!!!

Drip

Cheers for more beautiful fireworks

Drip

Swoosh--Bottom fell out and we all RUN with stuff to the cars pretty much drenched.

It is one of those times we know we will talk about forever.

We promptly rushed 2 inches in the truck and slowly inched our way out of the area (3 miles) in 45minutes.

I think we will ask the neighbors how good the view was from our street and if it was good, we may make our memories here in our yard. Or just bring our table, drinks and tent for next year.

Well, here's hoping to a great 4th for you!!

heartsjoy