I am in a season of re-education. God is showing me how He wants me at His feet listening and learning and not finding my security in the world's system for education. It is not an easy road but yet it is one that has been in the back of my head for several years.
I have been re-reading some books by Marilyn Howshall and this time I was really ready to hear. The biggest thing I gleaned through her writings as well as my time with the Lord is that I must learn to listen and follow Him whether anyone else agrees or not. He does not ask me to do what I shouldn't or what would be detrimental for my kids. In fact, He actually knows what is Best.
It sounds so silly but it is so profound if I can embrace it. I asked Him to show me my schedule for the year and He refused. I asked and begged for it but He shared with me that it would become my god. That I would be frustrated and stressed if I didn't reach that schedule and I would feel failure. I would miss the point of listening and trusting Him daily and in turn teaching my kids to do the same.
Wow. This is such a trusting process. Now He has allowed me to get some ideas for routines but being sure that I understand the routine may change anytime He deems it and some interuptions will be His leading.
Dying to self is not easy, but necessary and in the end....freedom.
