Can You Do That?

I was watching my daughter in pretend mode when she didn't know it (so don't talk to her about this instance or she'll know I was). Anyway, she was doing a trick and turning sideways as if asking a friend.
"Can you do that?"
Then being the friend she tried it.
She did this back and forth many times until finally the so called friend couldn't do it. To that she replied, "See, only I can do it. " Big smile.

My son meanwhile is making very interesting noises as he is playing in the imagination with his blanket wrapped around the neck and fighting movements.

Oh, to be young and in pretend world again.

Contrast

First of all, I want to start out by thanking those of you who have been praying for me since an earlier blog about my struggle with overeating. I am happy to relate that although results are not as fast as I would like to see them God does daily encourage me and show me results. He also has shown that the main thing is my heart obedience rather than results. This is where I always struggled in the past, giving up when results didn't come as fast as I wanted. However, now I see that it will come in time....His time. My sister has to listen to my moment by moment realizations such as profile not sticking out quite as much, dent in's in various places that before were full (although maybe not apparant to anyone but me), to a finale....my face appearing thinner!! My face has always been round and when I am overall fuller it is REALLY Round!! I looked just the other day to find I had dent in's in my face...what?! rub eyes....it's true. So, this brings you up to date and back to my original story.

Since I notice this difference I run to a family picture we had taken in the fall. I look, I compare, feeling happy. I go to my husband and ask (which he loves), "Honey, do you notice anything different about this picture of me and my present face?" He looks, the kids overhear and come bounding in. Here are the responses "Your hair is curled, Your hair is white AND black, You have on jewelry, you look more tan in the picture, you are wearing earrings in the picture" I give up then my son loudly says "Your face is thinner." I hear the Hallelujah chorus playing in the back of my head but I'm still reserved. I ask "You mean my face is thinner in the picture or right now?" He says "thinner now, is that okay?" Inside my head I'm screaming....Is that okay!!! Whooo hoo! But outwardly I say, "oh yea, that's okay, that's what I had noticed too." He goes on to add one more, "Your neck has more lines in it now than in the picture too." (lovely) Oh well, if having a more thin neck means a more wrinkly neck then Bring it On!!

Please continue to lift me up in this, it is war, the enemy is always giving me lies and I am constantly having to talk with the Lord and seek HIS truth which is setting me free! Please don't get me wrong, I am no where near where I want to be but I do see once again that God is faithful giving me little by little step by step and I feel it would be wrong of me not to sing His praise or give testimony to this. My sister found another site that deals with the same godly principles but it doesn't have the works mentality but grace. It is www.thinwithin.org.

Dances With Wolves

I don't know how many remember a movie by that name but it had to do with indians and they had names that describe them. Anyway, tonight when my daughter declared her name (as she was delivered to me in the mail, in a box) as "Cuddles with Momma" I couldn't help but think of it. Son decided that he would be the dog and took the name Rover. Anyway, I, of course, was the Mommy...it was really a challenging role for me. They really were quite hysterical, son stretching and turning head sideways and trying to get on blankets that were not his, all reflecting our dog. He also did not talk or smile being that dogs don't. "Cuddles with momma" soon changed her name to "cute and cuddly". Anyway, it was a fun pretend time with Mommy having much laughter. Son had also made a movie earlier and without realizing he was filming I asked him a question in the middle of it while he was being the mean scary covered man and he answered "Yes ma'am". We all got pretty tickled when watching it and I felt bad that I had blown his bad boy cover. Well, off I go, I'm thinking what I would like my new name to be "Washes with soap", "folder of laundry", "fixer of food", "player with children", "embracer of humiliation", "hearty loud laugher" (okay, I know you are probably hoping I will stop)......

What to be when I grow up

We were around the table and my son asked me what I thought he would be when he grew up. I told him I thought he could do many things but it would really be up to him. He asked what things I thought. So, I began listing a long list, science lab man, inventor, teacher, pastor (nose wrinkled, hmm note to self), missionary (eyes lit up and he said, Yea! That would be fun to travel the world!, Mommy whinsed, son noticed...What Mom? Oh, nothing sweetie, I want you to do whatever God leads you to do, it's just that I will miss you. He says "Oh, you'll be fine." that's his fathers blood.) So on and on we went until finally I said "You know, you have such a wonderful voice I could even see you leading worship" "No, I wouldn't want to do that, it takes away from family" me frowning. "Honey, are you saying that because of what Mommy's doing?" He hesistates realizing Mommy could get feelings hurt. "Well, kindof"...."ouch". I'm feeling bad that he feels I'm putting it in place of family time. I pour my story out to hubby who gives me the look. You know the "You've got to be kidding me look" saying, "That's just because he thinks family time is all day access to Mom's attention." Hey! Whewl sure. He needs me! ;) Anyway, at the end of this wonderful in depth look at the future and deep thought of all he might want to aspire to my son spouts "Really I think I still want to be a cashier at wal-mart."

My son saying

My son came in to me today and said "Mom, you know that song that says there is nothing my God cannot do? Well, that is not entirely true. When you are a Christian, God can never leave you, annnddd He can not be mean. "

"Mom, do you know how many times our heart beats in a year?"
Me "No"
"Do you give up?"
Me "yes, do you know the answer?"
"yes, 40 million times. Isn't that cool?"
"That is cool honey."

My son has always been a learner who asks questions and seeks answers. When he was two it was Very apparent but then I realized it is his way of learning and now I love watching his questions turn into a learning moment. Learning either for him or me. :)

Sister coming to Christ

A few years ago when my son was around 5 and sister 3 he had a talk with her. He had been asking everyone he knew if they were a Christian. It was so important to him that everyone know! He was so excited about his own decision. Anyway, one day he came running in from outside and excitedly shouted, "Mom, (sister) became a Christian!!" I knew he was good at persuading her to do lots of things so I began to talk to her. I didn't feel she fully got it but I wasn't going to discount their excitement or childish belief.

A few weeks ago they were talking in the car about being a christian and my son mentioned how they were both christians. I talked about how he had shared with her before but I didn't know if she fully understood since they had been so young. She said she did understand and she had made that decision. Brother told me that he was not talking about that time but another time more lately. I asked about it and they said it was back in the summer when they talked about it and she made a decision to become a christian. I was floored. We talked about it more and I asked more about when, how etc. I was amazed that something this great took place just between them. It was really sweet. I'm sure we will talk more about this decision but I am so excited for her already starting this journey. Her brother got baptized last summer, and come to think of it, that may have been when this whole conversation could have come up. Well, I look forward to watching them embark on this walk of faith!

Cold Soccer Games

My kids both got signed up for soccer and this past Saturday was their first soccer games. It turns out that it was the coldest day since we have been here!! We usually have really nice weather but Sat. it was 40 and the wind was blowing fiercely. We had chairs, blankets, umbrella's to stop the wind, heavy coats etc. However, they both had fun and enjoyed it. We were never so ready to jump in that car and head home.

Open House

Last night we went to the Christian school (at our church) open house. We wanted to be present to meet families, teachers, see classrooms and let them know we appreciate them. Anyway, as you can imagine everyone begins to think that we were there checking it out for our children. I was asked and even pressured to put our kids into the school. It was so funny because even some Moms (who thought they knew) asked my kids directly if they would like to come to the school. My kids shook their heads no. Good call. :) It was harder than I expected. I guess I thought people would know we were just there to support but guess not. I know that each parent has to make their own decisions on these things and I wish that they would not try to make it for me. However, I also know that when you are passionate about something you do want others to try it! Anyway, as I looked at the classrooms these were some of my thoughts:

They had some Precious decorated reading areas with a little bench but I like being in our living room on our big comfy couch for reading time.

They had cute little desks for the kids to sit in, but I like it when we are circled around the table learning together.

They had great play ground equipment for recess, but I like doing nature studies, playing soccer and reading in our own back yard.

The had a big industrialized kitchen and long tables that looked really clean for lunch, I like talking with my kids while eating lunch and also cooking and cleaning together in the kitchen as well as picnics outside.

They had loving teachers who gave hugs and warm words, I love being the teacher and getting those hugs and cuddles and kisses as well as giving warm words.

They have wonderful kids to play and interact with, I love getting together with other families who share similar values and thoughts and letting the kids play and bond together.

They have wonderful kids and sweet teachers to influence them. I like hubby and I being the main influence on them and helping them learn and search for themselves.

They have good Bible stories, I like our Bible study time and watching my kids draw pictures from it and share what they learned also hearing and answering their many questions.

They have an energetic coach and p.e. classes, we enjoy participating in extra activities like soccer and getting to be with them when they practice and play to cheer them on.


I know there will come a day when my kids will grow up and leave and hopefully they will have grasped how to make decisions and follow after God's leadership. However, today is not that day. My time with them is so brief and I want to enjoy every moment God has given me with these precious treasures.

Little Happenins

Tonight I was rushing through Wal-mart for a few items with my kids in toe. As I walked I was getting lots of looks (due to the loud hair color). Finally this one little girl turned her head to follow me and said loudy "Oh My G--, did you see her hair?!!" I walked on proud, shoulders back, head held high embracing humiliation once again.

I made a phone call today for a hair place to restore a better look. It was a place I have driven by many times. I decided to take the right pre-cautions and asked how long the lady had been in service, over 10 years? sounds good.
Can I make an appointment?
Yes, when would you like to come?
Do you have any available slots tomorrow?
Yes, what time do you want?
(Huh? They have that many open slots...first red flag)
Uhhh, mid- morning.
What time?
Uhh, 10?
Okay. Bye.
bye.
(second red flag, they didn't take my name or number.)
I call back
Hello?
Hello, I just made an appointment for tomorrow 10am but they didn't get my name don't you need my name?
No, you can just come.
Oh, okay.
click
(thinking I need to find a new stylist.)


Due to gall bladder complications I am pretty good at belching contests. My son informed me that he had read in his "The way things were" book that in olden times it was considered good manners when one burped after a meal, indicating they were full and it was delicious. I think we need to reinstate that as a good manner.

Ahhhh

Today I was treated to some major relaxation!! I got to have a massage. It was heavenly!! Almost as good as chocolate. :) Seriously, there were sore muscles I didn't even know were there and they were worked out and I was like putty at the end. The lady who was there was really sweet and had an amazing testimony. Her whole place just reeked of relaxation. I think I am starting to feel sleepy. Anyway, a big shout out to honey for the wonderful valentine gift!

Wreckless Abandon

I have learned in my weeks and months here in the valley that humiliation is not as bad as one might think. I mean, what is the point of always having it together...no one could relate. Humiliation on the other hand...everyone can relate.

I know you are probably worried that I embarrassed myself again with the worship but thankfully this week went rather smooth. I did have a little girl around age of 11 sing a special. She has a Beautiful angelic voice. She did a great job except for the end where in both services she lost her place. In the first service she found it again but in the second she just stopped. I just got up and she went to sit down and covered her head and cried. I was quick to talk to her afterwards to let her know that mess ups have happened to me many times using last week as a prime example. It seemed to cheer her up. But as for me, thankfully it went pretty smooth even without the former guitarist. In fact, our practice actually went more smooth and quick...hmmm. God may have some blessings in disguise.

Anyway, back to wreckless abandon, my hubby had a birthday and we celebrated early on Friday. On Sat. he got to do what he wanted which was kick back and relax. That evening we had a valentines banquet. I noticed the roots of my hair really looking bad and once again (I know you are all groaning) took matters into my own hands. Well, it wasn't so brassy this time...just platinum. I had to laugh. I had also decided I would fix it different...it is getting a little longer. I curled it and it curled up. My son said "Mom, why did you make your hair white, and the way you fixed it looks like those old timey women." Thanks honey. When I walked in to ask my husband if it was really that bad he gave me the shocked look and said, "Is that how you wanted it?" Nice confirmation that it was shocking. Now I don't want to go to the banquet but it is to close to time, I have to face humiliation once again.

At the banquet some of the younger men, (who haven't learned that keeping your mouth shut about a woman's hair is a good thing) asked me what I did or if I had whitened it or something. However, I got a much more positive response from the women...which suprised me. They all seemed to love it. So, I have decided to forget worrying about humiliation. I am embracing it!! Maybe it is because I am getting older and care less about what people think. Well, off I go to brown my skin and look even more like a woman in mid life crisis.

Happy Birthday ValiantDad!!!

Today is my precious Hubby's birthday!!! He will never let me forget that I am 1 year and 3 months older than him. :) Nice. I tease but his sense of humor has always been something I Love! He makes me laugh all the time and even when it might sometimes be in appropriate. He can say something histerical and then keep a solemn face so I look like the childish one laughing while he is calm. His blogger name fits him perfect. He is valiant indeed. He is brave enough to make the hard decisions and soft enough to have compassion with us. When I first met him his mannerisms and character truly made me think of the gentlemen in the victorian age. He is a leader to the core. Yet, he is loving and caring as well. He leads by his own actions and example. He searches how to follow the Lord and lead his family. He is a man of GREAT Faith, not a worrier. He is the rock that his name represents. He is willing to review his actions and be man enough to know when to apologize and make things right. He is a terrific Dad! He has always chosen to be a part of our kids lives and loves them so much. When we were first married he made the decision to put family first even throughout ministry. This is hard to do because there are always needs but he knows when to draw that line. The kids know he loves them and they adore him! He is a wonderful husband, friend, confidant, love, and leader to me! We have always teased because whatever personality test he takes it is usually in a low percentage because it is always a unique mix. However, I am honored to have one of the few of his personality. He is my gift from God, my true treasure and I cherish him daily and especially today, the day God first brought him into the world to bless so many! I love you honey! Happy Birthday!!

Broken Dreams

Last night I was with a friend that is a mother. Without revealing what happened, her daughter made a bad choice. A choice that broke dreams the mother had for her. I was with her when she found out and watched the heart wrenching brokeness and tears. I heard her talk of her love for her daughter and how she felt betrayed. The why's, how, grief. I was broken with her and cried with her, prayed with her, encouraged her, so much pain. She is someone I admire for having such a good relationship with her kids and leading them to the Lord and yet, bad choice that devastated was still made. Hard. It obviously made me think of how I would feel or respond if Iwere in that situation in the future. Then, God allowed me to see Him. His brokeness when we continually choose the wrong choices. Choices that influence our lives and cause consequences that hurt. Hurt not only us but those who love us. It has been very convicting today and sobering. I truly break His heart with decisions like that, choosing the wrong choice. I have a new perspective today. I don't think I will ever forget the heart wrenching feeling from last night.

Funny Foul-ups

This past Sunday I got there early ready to practice with the praise team. All but one were late. Needless to say we did not get through our whole set. However, Wed. nights practice had gone well so I anticipated a lovely day. The organist had shown up and we thought he could help us out on a couple of songs that would add fullness. So began the first service. The first song was upbeat and went okay. Next some slower sets with the organ. I heard notes coming out and tried to sing with them but it was fumble, bumble, fumble, stop, fumble bumble stop as I tried to keep singing. I frantically looked to the other instrumentalist to help me but they were looking at me like deers in headlights...something was awry. We later found out he had a different key than we had had. Then it was time for a slow song that I had earlier told the organist Not to play on. I spoke and he began. I was sitting at the keyboard looking at my team wondering what to do. My friend in the pew was already rolling with laughter because she said my face was priceless it was a smile with a look of "what do I do". I did sit there waiting for him to stop. His wife at another instrument was giving the slash throat sign to get him to stop. She tried telling the male vocalist to stop him but the male vocalist can't sight read and promply made the facial expression..."Huh?" Finally the organist stopped. We started our worship medley but it was difficult to recover.

Break for Sunday School. My keyboardist reveals to me she cannot keep doing both services and teach S.S. Hmmm. The guitarist who leads most songs tells me that his last day is probably going to be Feb. 12 like he had told so and so. I am in shock. Okay Lord. The guitarist is not angry he is really relieved to be able to bow out because he has been wanting out for a while before we came. Oh boy. What to do. I go to my husbands office and lay my head on his desk. I look up at him and we both laugh. (remembering the disaster of 1st service). I tell him my latest news. He is suprised but tells me to let it go. Let them be free to go. He is right. God is in control. Who knows what I will do but that is for later panicking.

Before the next service I make some copies of our first song. It is "All things are Possible". After welcome we would be doing "All Creatures of our God and King". I then head back to get ready. I visit and come to the front to get started. The music to the first song begins. I am counting and watching what instrumentalist are doing. I am trying be sure I come in right. I do..hurray. I begin singing the melody BUT with the words to All creatures of our God and king. The people are giving me weird looks, I am thinking something is wrong with the words, it doesn't seem like it is fitting the next phrase. Hmmm....what's that....THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT WORDS FOR THIS SONG!!!! I HAVE to stop. I say "Oh. That's not the right words." The people all completely crack up. I am laughing hard myself. I go over toward the keyboardist to get the right music and she thinks I am coming to her so she stands and hugs me. People laugh harder. I come back and say "Well, aren't we glad God is a God of second chances!" Laugh again. Okay, now we can start the song with right words. Whew. What a day. We already have lunch plans with some families. I really just want to go home and cover my head under the blankets and take a well deserved nap. Oh well, off to face my humiliation and look forward to next week.

Bursting!

I cannot help it, I am bursting at the seams to shout God's praise! I have shared with you that He has put me in places which have pushed my comfort zone completely. One of them being the worship leading. Let me just say...I am SOOO inadequate and unworthy. Only He doesn't see it that way (of course not, I'm His child) because He knows what He can do. He has blessed me through this process beyond belief. The other day I was having time with Him and He laid a song on my heart in my worship of Him. It was simple but I was in worshipping heaven. The thought dawned on me, this would go perfect as a chorus with "I have decided to follow Jesus". I took it to the praise team and we practiced it with that hymn. Singing hymn verses 1,2 first, chorus He gave me twice, and then verse 2 again accapella. It was so focused on Him. Our praise time was so light and God helped me get ahead in planning so it is not so overwhelming. It was a lovely praising time!

THEN, in another area. Okay, this is WAY vulnerable. BUT! I feel that if we are to really give testimony to what He has accomplished in our lives then we MUST show the struggle so He can have the Glory when we overcome. Overeating. There. I said it. Okay, this has been a struggle of mine for years. It is hard for me to say it because I hate being accountable but I need to be accountable. Anyway, as sad as this is to say, about 8 years ago I heard about a lady named Gwen Shamblin...I read her books and they were Huge for the way I saw things and overeating. She had scripture on almost every page and put things in a way I really understood. Anyway, she is basically talking about ...well, I think I'll let you read it. I just can't explain it like she does. But the jest is to let God fill the emotional needs instead of food and let your stomach tell you when you are really hungry and when you are not. Anyway, God has been working on me on this lately again and it is as if some new understanding just clicked for me. I am definitely not fail proof but I tell you He is amazing. Here are some fun stories...jewels.

I was feeling a little hungry this one afternoon and I really wanted this special sugar cookie with icing. I asked God if what I was feeling was real hunger but felt that He wanted me to wait for Real hunger. I got into some other things with kids and went on. Later that evening real hunger came and ate portion controlled meal and headed out for practice. I was not completely full and had planned to take the cookie with me. Forgot it and felt disappointment. Went on to practice. I am making copies in the office and a lady walks up to the kids and me and said "Would you like a cookie?" I looked up....would you believe there standing before me was the VERY kind of cookie I had wanted!!! Down to the very same pink icing!! Wasn't that Sweet! He asked for my obedience but then gave me blessing for waiting.

Then! Our family was being taken out to lunch by some friends from Arkansas and I was at complete hunger so the small portions tasted so good. I stopped when pleasantly filled and just visited. As I sat there a thin eater (as we like to call them) comes in right in my watching range. I am curious and noisey so I watched sporatically. She did just as Gwen talks about. She ate little by little but enjoyed conversation. She probably only ate about 1/4 of her meal and boxed up the rest. It was again confimation that I was heading the right direction.

Then, the song story above.

Also, our realtor told us our showings on our house have picked up dramatically and some second lookers!! (Please keep in prayer on this)

Plus, my husband sending me a love song as well as giving me a marriage conference. Can it get any better!!!

Okay, I am not saying that God only blesses when we obey but I am saying that He loves to bless His children when they make the right choices. Just like we should be showing our children. With wrong choices...like mine to overeat...I have had weight issues, clothes don't fit right, not confident in appearance, daughter pushing big tummy, gall bladder attacks CONSEQUENCES. With choosing to obey...feeling in right relationship with Him, feeling more confident, happy, joyful, not having gall attacks, BLESSINGS!!

Again, He is a merciful God and has blessed me far beyond what I deserve even when I have failed because even when I am faithless He is faithful. However, when I choose Him how loved He must feel and how loved I feel. So I MUST shout His praise! He is Above all I ask or imagine!! He is Good!!!!

Love Song

My Dearest husband just made my week!! He sent me a love song via the internet with love from him!! How sweet is that!!! We are also getting to go to marriage conference this weekend which ends in a date night while kids have fun at the church!! I am SO excited! We haven't had an alone date night since we moved! WHOO HOO!! I have always loved going to marriage conferences. Some people think they are just for folks with problems (by the way, what marriage doesn't have some problems) but I think it is so great for the continued health of a marriage. I love getting away and simply focusing on us and our dynamics! It always gives us new things to work on and better ways to keep our marriage be healthy! I sure do love my husband and I feel so blessed that God has given me the treasure of him.